A friend at work mentioned to me that he got a groupon-style deal on a flight lesson at a regional airport near him.
Obviously, I worried about that. And had to write a top ten list
So, from the Home Office near the TRACON station on Touhy Ave just east of Wolf Road -
The Top 10 List of Things {REDACTED} Will Hear at his Flight Lesson:
1) “Please remove the red-sun hachimaki, sir.”
2) “No, we don’t sell any certified-pre-owned Apache helicopters.”
3) “Nobody uses Navy Pier for carrier landing practice any more. Please stop asking.”
4) “No, we DON’T have an inter-museum loan system with NAS Glenview.”
5) “Even when you bring your own, we do not mount AAMs on the trainer.”
6) “I don’t care if it is Stacey Dash, you cannot paint her on the nose of our plane.”
7) “Please stop referring to the other students as ‘missile shields’ .”
8) “If you yell, ‘RAMMING SPEED.’ once more, you flunk.”
9) “THAT is NOT aviation equipment.”
10) “No, you are not required to maneuver straight down any trench, and there is no two-meter-wide target area at all."
One of my other colleagues then provided two more, which i wish I had thought up:
11) “No, it will not be like shooting womp rats in your T-16 back home.”
12) “You don’t go into warp drive by randomly pounding the instrument panel! Also, we don’t ‘warp drive’.”
Obviously, I worried about that. And had to write a top ten list
So, from the Home Office near the TRACON station on Touhy Ave just east of Wolf Road -
The Top 10 List of Things {REDACTED} Will Hear at his Flight Lesson:
1) “Please remove the red-sun hachimaki, sir.”
2) “No, we don’t sell any certified-pre-owned Apache helicopters.”
3) “Nobody uses Navy Pier for carrier landing practice any more. Please stop asking.”
4) “No, we DON’T have an inter-museum loan system with NAS Glenview.”
5) “Even when you bring your own, we do not mount AAMs on the trainer.”
6) “I don’t care if it is Stacey Dash, you cannot paint her on the nose of our plane.”
7) “Please stop referring to the other students as ‘missile shields’ .”
8) “If you yell, ‘RAMMING SPEED.’ once more, you flunk.”
9) “THAT is NOT aviation equipment.”
10) “No, you are not required to maneuver straight down any trench, and there is no two-meter-wide target area at all."
One of my other colleagues then provided two more, which i wish I had thought up:
11) “No, it will not be like shooting womp rats in your T-16 back home.”
12) “You don’t go into warp drive by randomly pounding the instrument panel! Also, we don’t ‘warp drive’.”
