Blazoning the running gags I retained instead of having a personality.

 

(Made with DrawShield .)

His final papal bull: "Semper clara latus vitae"

(As texted to too many of my friends and relatives earlier today...)

So, justto get all the obvious crass jokes out of the way, and to make sure I don't accidentally send them to Mom:

a) "BRING OUT YOUR POPE!"

b) "Mum, there's a dead pontiff on the landing!"

c) "If you hadn't nailed him to the balcony, he'd be pushing up the daisies!"

d) Conclave 2: Weekend at St. Peter's

e) Given the timing, do we have to wait three days to make sure?

f) Since Jorge was a nightclub bouncer in his youth, does this mean St. Peter finally gets a vacation?

g) Did he have the salmon mousse?

h) Vance/Truss Tour: Offing Decrepit Monarchs.

("And now he works for Jesus as the bouncer at St. Peter's gate....")