Just So You Know

I will probably arrange to have bagpipers at my funeral.

However, they will only play “It’s a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock n Roll)”

My Poor Boss, Part 2

Boss: “We have to report what our goals for 2015 are, and before I send anything upstairs, I want to make sure that I include anything you think we need to do.  Have you any suggestions?”

UIM: “Conquer Belgium.”

(Pause).

UIM: “It’s got to be easier than convincing our vendor to change things we don’t like.”

Boss: “And have you asked the Belgians how the feel about this?”

Colleague: “Well, Belgian society has a great deal of tension between the Walloons and the Flemish, so you really wouldn’t get widespread support, anyway.”