#EnthusiasticNonsense: Cry 'waugh' and let slip the drakes of war!

A business breeding waterfowl large enough to rid into battle: Ducks Bellorum

Married Conversations: Go running for the shelter

Frage: "I did ask my doc to call in a scrip for Flonase, but I never heard back from them.  CVS just texted me I have a filled scrip.  I hope it's the Flonase."

UIM: "It would be weird if it was for something you never had filled before.  'We see you're married to UIM.  Would you like some Valium?' "

Frage: "Yes.  I'm going to sneak it into his food."

UIM: (mimicking mouth full) "This pizza tastes funny"

Frage: (narrator voice) "Which did not stop him from having 5 more slices."

UIM: (commercial voice, mimics holding up a product) "It's the Xanax crust!"  (wide fake smile)

Just a turkey boy, born and raised in south Detroit

Lyric Word Replacement - Replace 'City' with 'Turkey'

(Frage: "I got startled by something screaming outside, and when I checked, it was the feral turkeys."

UIM: "Pretty sure 'I hear the turkey screaming' is a Concrete Blonde lyric.")

Turkey Screaming - Concrete Blonde

Turkeys on Flame with Rock and Roll - Blue Oyster Cult

Suffragette Turkey - David Bowie

Detroit Rock Turkey - KISS

Paradise Turkey - Guns `n' Roses

We Built This Turkey - Jefferson Starship

Fool for the Turkey - Foghat

Hot Child in the Turkey - Nick Gilder

Jet Turkey Woman - Queensryche

Broken Turkey - Audioslave

Big Turkey Nights - Scorpions

Summer in the Turkey - Lovin' Spoonful

"Left a good job in the turkey..." - Creedence Clearwater Revival

"I hit the turkey bout 1 AM, loaded, loaded..." - Judas Priest

Enthusiastic nonsense, memed.

 It's the futhark era....

Today's idiocy: Trying to Reason with Monotreme Season (One Song to the Tune of Another)

Today's burst of idiocy:

Singing the words of the Perry the Platypus theme to a couple Jimmy Buffett riffs.

The verse lyric kind of fits the "Fins" verse melody.

"He's Perry the Platypus" fits the first measure of "Cheeseburger in Paradise"'s chorus.

New discovery in One Song to the Tune of Another research:

Thanks to the David Byrne vocal goofing in Drawing Characters From Memory With Barrett - YouTube , I have now realized that

"Rainbow Connection" written by Paul Williams, sung by Jim Henson
can swap lyrics and tune with
"Life During Wartime"written and performed by Talking Heads

Married Conversations: One Concern to the Tune of Another

(Frage sits in the recliner in the living room, watching HGTV.)
(UIM, just-showered and half-dressed, strides out with determination, picks up the letter-size notepad, grabs a pen, starts scribbling and mumbling.)

(After a minute of this...)

Frage: "Should I be worried that you're mumbling 'cut you down and destroy'?"

UIM: "It's 'one song to the tune of another'.  I realized you can sing the verses of Johnny Cash's 'God's Gonna Cut You Down' and Metallica's 'Seek and Destroy' to each other's tunes."

Frage: "Ah."

UIM: "But I understand you worry when your pants-less husband mumbles like that.  You concerns are valid."

Married Conversations: Saturday Wait (for a breakfast sandwich)

Frage: "I got you a different breakfast sandwich.  It's called The Cure."

UIM: "Is it supposed to be a hangover remedy."

Frage: "No, it's cured meats."

UIM: "I guess I'm just glad it doesn't look like Robert Smith."

Frage: "Every time I see it, I chuckle and think, 'Friday I'm in Love'."

UIM: "But today is Saturday."

Frage: "Yes."

UIM: "Are you all out of love?"

Frage: "No."

UIM: "Because that would be an Air Supply."

Married Conversations: Something Might Be Found

(After Frage comes in, and is throwing out her coffee cup.)

Frage:"So, yeah, I got myself coffee as a little treat."

UIM: "The pool was closed, so you walked the whole time?"

Frage: "No.  I swam, then walked."

UIM: " I really should just standardize it as 'How as your walk/swim?'"

Frage: "Or you could look for clues, like, my hair is wet."

UIM: "Now, listen, I am barely awake until noon, on my best days.  So, don't expect too much from me and -" (realizes) "you might not be let down and goddamnit I am quoting a Gin Blossoms song."

Poo Hearts Beating In Just One Mind.

(Context is lost, but....)

Frage: "It's all about the poo with you."

... devolving into Lyric Word Replacement - 'poo' for 'two' ...

Frage: "Just the Poo of Us."

UIM: "It Takes Poo to Make a Thing Go Right."

...

UIM: "And, of course, the Spice Girls singing, 'Poo Become One'."

Wrapped in white tissue as cold as the - ewwwww

During the 15-minute-or-so break that Frage and I took today to get sympathy about our respective jobs...

Frage: "I'm not a manager or a supervisor, but somehow the circus is mine."

UIM: "Other folks just keep assigning you monkeys."

Frage: "And I did not want responsibility for these poo-slingers."

Frank: "Now, I'm just imagining two monkeys in cowboy outfits facing off at high noon in a town, with holsters full of poo."

Reactions by other folks after I shared the above bit:

'Backer (my cousin): "I'm going to commission someone to draw that, and put it up on the wall above my home desk."

Shell (my brother):  "This town ain't big enough for the poo of us."

UIM: "I am now scared `Backer will make it an NFT with that title, and somehow I'll be responsible legally for whoever he sells it to."

Stringer (my other brother): "Non-flingable turds."

Songs That Are Fun To Sing in Fred Schneider's Voice

 most Doors songs, but especially Roadhouse Blues  (as noted here: https://thegroupwbench.blogspot.com/2021/10/same-situation-different-emphasis.html )
Mother, Danzig

Forgot About Dre, Dr. Dre and Eminem

Knowledge I Learned from My Friends This Year

If there's something on the floor, don't stand in it. (January 2021 - It was a world of Warcraft statement, but it's really applicable everywhere.)

You'd think if you hadn't eaten all day, anything would taste good.  (January 2021)

People made of fluff should be last in the battle order.  (January 2021)

The octopus is judging you.  (February 2021)

We aggro'd the fucking world.  Why not drive off the cliff?  (February 2021)

Knob Creek immediately goes up your nose and burns your brain.  (March 2021)

Some nights, you'll need some help with a quest you shouldn't have gotten into.  (March 2021)

A really-nasty one-star review actually means you've touched the reader.  (April 2021)

Under normal circumstances, Urgent Care never tells you to come back the next day for a follow-up. (June 2021)

A case of shingles can feel like a midget trying to drive a spike through your ear for three weeks.  (August 2021)

Chickens are nasty.  That's why they are so tasty.  (October 2021)

Your child will be aghast that you know the lyrics to 'The Time Warp'.  (October 2021)

Do not hide bodies in the attic - that's the first place they look.  (December 2021)

I don't think 'Weird Al' did this in concert, but I'm also too lazy to verify that....

During my lunch break on Tuesday, I took the parts I wanted from several meal-plan meals, stuck them in a bowl to microwave them.  They key piece of this was the provolone slices I took from two of the meals, and laid on top of the other components.

All while singing the word 'Provolone' instead of 'Kodakchrome' in the Paul Simon song.

Obviously (because it's me), this grew out of control....

When I think back on all the lunch I had in high school,
It's a wonder I can eat at all.
Oh, but my lack of good nutrition never hurt me none.
I still can read a menu on the wall.

Provolone

(something some thing something)

Gives me a happy stomach.

Makes all the world a cheesy day, oh, yeah.

With my Italian sandwich

(something some thing something)

Mama, please don't take my provolone away.

If you took all the meals I had when I was drinking,

And put them in a buffet for one night,

It would never match my flavor recollection -

Everything tastes worse in sober light.

Provolone

(something some thing something)

Gives me a happy stomach.

Makes all the world a cheesy day, oh, yeah.

With my Italian sandwich

(something some thing something)

Mama, please don't take my provolone away.

Songs That Are Fun to Sing in My Dad's Voice (Sarcastic Heavy Brooklyn Accent)

No Sleep Til Brooklyn, Beastie Boys

Paul Revere, Beastie Boys

Keep Their Heads Ringing, Dr. Dre

Forgot About Dre, Dr. Dre and Eminem

Waterloo, ABBA

Fernando, ABBA

Lady Marmalade (Moulin Rouge version) - Mya, Pink, Christina Aguilera, Lil Kim, Missy Elliott

Berzerk, Eminem

Thrift Shop, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis

Love Runs Out, One Republic

I'm Too Sexy, Right Said Fred

[Quiet and Distant and Remorseful on Tumblr: Songs That Are Fun to Sing in My Dad's Voice (Sarcastic Heavy Brooklyn Accent)]

Songs That Are Fun to Sing in a Chipmunk Voice

Chip Away the Stone, Aerosmith

Immigrant Song, Led Zeppelin

Vacation, Go-Gos

Dancing in the Moonlight, King Harvest

Fire, Jimi Hendrix

Quiet and Distant and Remorseful on Tumblr: Songs That Are Fun to Sing in a Chipmunk Voice

Songs That Are Fun To Sing in A Kermit Voice

(in rough order of how they occurred to me over the last thirty-odd years)

Red House, Jimi Hendrix 

You Shook Me All Night Long, AC/DC

Closer, Nine Inch Nails

I Wanna Be Sedated, Ramones

(This will be updated as I recall more of them)

Life During Wartime, Talking Heads (noting the verses can be sung to Rainbow Connection) 

[ (Quiet and Distant and Remorseful on Tumblr: Songs That Are Fun To Sing in A Kermit Voice ]

With nothing to consider, they forget my name?

(Frage making her coffee in the kitchen.)
(UIM in the living room, working on data correction and singing along with 'That's Not My Name'.)
UIM: "They call me quiet / but I'm a riot / Mary Jo, Lisa / It's all the same...")
(UIM looks up as Frage walks with her coffee back to her spare-room work area.)
Frage: "I have never called you quiet..."

Baby, if you ever wondered, it's time to play the music....

 Quiet and Distant and Remorseful — Yesterday’s dumb idea:  A WKRP-Muppet Show... (tumblr.com)

Yesterday’s dumb idea:  A WKRP-Muppet Show crossover episode.

They both were airing during the years 1978 - 1981.

Admittedly, the Muppet production was based in England, but a partial detachment of the Muppet team to LA for a WKRP episode wouldn’t have been impossible.

The only A-plot I can imagine is an Electric Mayhem show in Cincinnati, and WKRP covering it like any other rock concert.

And WKRP’s Andy Travis was basically the Kermit of the show - trying to keep the chaos moving in a positive direction.

Sam the Eagle and Les Nessman certainly could have bonded.

Mostly, I thought of this just for the running gag of Dr. Johnny Fever assuming that seeing Gonzo, Fozzy, and Animal was just more drug flashbacks.

“I swear, man, there was this little red furry guy standing behind Jennifer, groaning,’wo-man’...”

It's been a long plague.