#RepressedAnger, a la RHCP

 "I chug a little pepto and I belch a little bile..."

#RepressedAnger, a la Bing Crosby

(tune: "Dear Old Donegal")

"They always seem to miss the point of evidence I give.

Their obstinance in ignorance erodes my will to live."

#RepressedAnger

 "It's been a clown-car day.  Every time I think the car's empty, another clown bursts out and slams a pie in my face."

Things I Have Been Muttering For at Least 15 Years

 "That's right, Inanimate Object,  That's exactly what I need you to do right at this moment.:

#RepressedAnger

 "You're living on your own private data farm.

Where do I go from here to a better feed than this?"

I will always be too lazy to make this my epitaph...

 He has gone where

short-sighted management

and over-confident developers

may lacerate his heart no more.

He served maintainable systems.

Traveler, imitate him if you dare.

#RepressedAnger

 

#Repressed Anger

 "History shows again and again / How data points out the folly of devs..."  - Me, angry at work, mangling Blue Oyster Cult lyrics.

#Repressed Anger #ThisDidn'tActuallyHappen

Today's bad idea: answering all work questions with Duran Duran lyrics.
This was triggered by the lyric "I'm on a ride and I want to get off / But they won't slow down the roundabout."

If I knew more people in the office, they might ask why I was there, and I'd claim "Watching over Lucky clover.  Isn't that bizarre?"

But, my team shifted office space during the plague, so no one there would know me well enough to shrug it off with "Who really gives a damn about a flaky bandit?"

Wrapped in white tissue as cold as the - ewwwww

During the 15-minute-or-so break that Frage and I took today to get sympathy about our respective jobs...

Frage: "I'm not a manager or a supervisor, but somehow the circus is mine."

UIM: "Other folks just keep assigning you monkeys."

Frage: "And I did not want responsibility for these poo-slingers."

Frank: "Now, I'm just imagining two monkeys in cowboy outfits facing off at high noon in a town, with holsters full of poo."

Reactions by other folks after I shared the above bit:

'Backer (my cousin): "I'm going to commission someone to draw that, and put it up on the wall above my home desk."

Shell (my brother):  "This town ain't big enough for the poo of us."

UIM: "I am now scared `Backer will make it an NFT with that title, and somehow I'll be responsible legally for whoever he sells it to."

Stringer (my other brother): "Non-flingable turds."

#RepressedAnger

"Look, on my best day, I am a chaos gremlin, but most days I am a vicious vengeful bridge troll.  So, maybe you want to start listening to what I'm saying, instead of making me repeat everything three times by asking questions that I specifically answered in the previous sentence."

Not-so-repressed anger

 (UIM direct-messaging a cow-orker.)

"How bad a sign is it that I'm singing 'This Ain't a Vendor, It's a God-damn Trash Fire' to a Fall Out Boy song?"

#RepressedAnger

 "A data editor is without honor in his own organization."

#RepressedAnger

 "Every f^{king week I watch my colleagues summon another f^{king Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man, and then I have to cross the damn streams and clean up all the f^{king marshmallow."

#RepressedAnger #Lyrics

Thank you, so much, for causing me pain.
Thank you, so much, for hurting me again.

Your bad design decisions fall upon me like cold rain.

Thank you, for all the pain.

Could you fix your data, by chance?

I never wanted to join in this dance

Of the Masochism Tango that you constantly advance.

Please fix your {bleep}, perchance?

Married Conversations: I need a little room to operate, here.

Frage: "Have fun.  Make good choices.  Don't cry in meetings."

UIM: "Why do you want to limit my options?"

Repressed Anger - Long Distance Banking Edition.

"Wow, I can actually feel my Dad's  spirit rising out of me now -"
(Switches to Aggrieved Dad voice)
"I don't know why I gotta ask the same question five times to get one answer.  I don't know why I gotta ask the same question ten times to get an ACCURATE answer.  But if THAT'S the way you want to run this clown car, all right."
(Back to normal voice.)
"Of course, that was not an accurate Dad quote.  There was nowhere near enough profanity.  F-bombs would have been falling like spring raindrops."

#ThisDidn'tActuallyHappen

A: “We tried instituting a talking stick for the daily outage meeting.”
B: “Well, that method doesn’t work for every group meeting.”
A: “Yeah, the problem was that Ops viewed it more as a ‘talking bo-staff’ or ‘talking quarter-stave’, depending whether they were watching more Asian martial arts movies or Robin-Hood-type movies recently.”
B: “So, management took the stick away.”
A: “Well, more that Ops insisted on upgrading to a ‘talking machete’, so, at that point we just went back to the standard outage meeting format of sitting at a table with groups sullenly glaring at each other.”

#RepressedAnger

"Have you outsourced the data correction to particularly slow and decrepit mules?"

#RepressedAnger

"Are there any other similar enhancements to the datafeed which you've been planning, such as catapults full of pigeon guano aimed at our homes?"