Seriously, Stephen King writes novellas about trips like that.

(On the way back home from a funeral near St. Louis.)
(After a certain point, UIM gets tired of the GPS throwing out weird detours for no discernable reason.)
(UIM unplugs the GPS from the 12v outlet.)
GPS: "Do you want to turn this unit off?"
(UIM clicks the switch to turn it off, and chucks it in the back seat.)
(An hour passes, and Frage takes an exit to get fuel and stretch our legs.)
GPS: "Recalculating."
Frage: Is it still talking to us?"
UIM: "Yes.  I believe it is cursed, and trying to kill us."
Frage: "That's a bit far-fetched."
UIM: (dry) "Yeah. I'm breaking character."

Heh heh heh.

UIM: "I love you."
Frage: "I love you too. We just said that. That's twice in one minute."
UIM: "Yeah, but I was 2 hours late, so I have to say it more often, so that it averages out."
Frage: "So, what: whenever I wake up, you're going to say it, just to keep your average going?"
UIM: "Well, whenever you wake up..."
(Pause.)
(UIM grins evilly.)
UIM: "...before you put on your makeup...  I say a little prayer for you."
Frage: "Get out."
(UIM leaves the room, chuckling.)
(A minute passes.)
Frage: (calling out) "Now I have Julia Roberts in my head, damn you..."

#ThisDidn'tActuallyHappen

A: “What’s he doing?”
B: “Apparently, attempting ritual belly-cutting via a frozen ice cream snack.”

#ThisDidntActuallyHappen

“He’s at his desk, holding a can of Coke Zero to his chest, rocking back and forth, and whimpering softly.”

#ThisDidntActuallyHappen

“He’s updating all his work tickets with the lyrics to Ozzy’s ‘Suicide Solution’, and all his document links are to the Jack Daniels website, so maybe it’s time for an intervention.”

work discussions: we are so metal‏

(Installing and configuring local code repository.)

Boss: “Well, we’ve gone as far as we can with these instructions, and now we’re following our own track.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I hear that as ‘We’re rolling off the rails on a crazy train.’ “

Boss: “Somewhat true.”

(Later)

Boss: “I’m not entirely sure this will work.  So, hold my breath.”

Me: (singing) “As I wish for death.”