... as I make mistakes.
Me: "What are you doing, UIM?"
Me: "F**king up."
Me: "Okay, as long as you know what you're doing."
(Yes, it's kind of a Heathers reference.)
Showing posts with label #Bewilderment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #Bewilderment. Show all posts
Sunday, April 15, 2018
Monday, June 30, 2014
My Poor Boss
(My boss stops by my desk to assign me a project.)
UIM: “Ok, I’ll work on that. How are you otherwise?”
Boss: “I am doing well. How are you?”
UIM: “Ticking along like a Timex strapped to the horn of a rhino, while John…” (pause) “..who was that newscaster who did those sorts of Timex commercials in the 50s? Anyway, ticking along like that.”
Boss: (that look) “I… I… I haven’t thought about those commercials… in decades..” (starts to get up from the chair)
UIM: “No one has had a sane reason to.” (mutters to self) “John… Cam…. Cameron….”
(My boss stands, and makes the turn around my cubicle to go back to his.)
UIM: “John Cameron Swayze. That’s it.”
(My boss stops briefly, intensifies the weird look, and shakes his head.)
(I dissolve into cackles and giggles while my boss walks back to his own cubicle.)
UIM: “Ok, I’ll work on that. How are you otherwise?”
Boss: “I am doing well. How are you?”
UIM: “Ticking along like a Timex strapped to the horn of a rhino, while John…” (pause) “..who was that newscaster who did those sorts of Timex commercials in the 50s? Anyway, ticking along like that.”
Boss: (that look) “I… I… I haven’t thought about those commercials… in decades..” (starts to get up from the chair)
UIM: “No one has had a sane reason to.” (mutters to self) “John… Cam…. Cameron….”
(My boss stands, and makes the turn around my cubicle to go back to his.)
UIM: “John Cameron Swayze. That’s it.”
(My boss stops briefly, intensifies the weird look, and shakes his head.)
(I dissolve into cackles and giggles while my boss walks back to his own cubicle.)
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
from the back files: I don't understand the world, but I don't understand my own brain, either. So, I guess it all evens out.
From: UIM
Sent: Wednesday, October 23, 2013 8:07 AM
Subject: I don't understand the world, but I don't understand my own brain, either. So, I guess it all evens out.
So, my subconscious burped up a gag from the first season of Growing Pains, where Mike is trying to con his dad into paying for karate lessons.
So, I searched for it on the internet.
And the only link I found with it was a site that apparently helps teach English via old sitcom scripts.
http://www.wwenglish.com/en/club/gp/5384.htm
106. Jason: That's important to you, is it?
107. Mike: Oh, yeah dad. I mean without discipline dad, each one of us is like a waterless craft in the sea of conflicting desires. And you know what, Dad? I need the rudder that karate will give me.
108. Jason: I see. So what you're saying is that you're taking karate to reach the spiritual state of...Don Ho.
109. Mike: Right, Don Ho.
110. Jason: Mike. Don Ho is the Hawaiian singer who recorded " Tiny bubbles".
111. Mike: Right. Very spiritual guy.
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