Frage: (deadpan blatant lie) "You don't stress me out. My shoulders like to live up here by my ears."
The Group W Bench (version 3.0)
I seem to have misplaced 17 years of progress. Some of this also visible at @UimanGwbench on Twitter
Friday, September 13, 2024
Wednesday, July 31, 2024
Saturday, July 27, 2024
Sentence I Never Worked into Enough Discussions
"I think you mean, 'Motown recording artist, Bruce Willis.' "
Friday, July 12, 2024
Wednesday, June 26, 2024
Wednesday, May 22, 2024
Things I Have Been Muttering For at Least 15 Years
"That's right, Inanimate Object, That's exactly what I need you to do right at this moment.:
Saturday, May 18, 2024
Friday, May 17, 2024
Married Conversations: Go running for the shelter
Frage: "I did ask my doc to call in a scrip for Flonase, but I never heard back from them. CVS just texted me I have a filled scrip. I hope it's the Flonase."
UIM: "It would be weird if it was for something you never had filled before. 'We see you're married to UIM. Would you like some Valium?' "
Frage: "Yes. I'm going to sneak it into his food."
UIM: (mimicking mouth full) "This pizza tastes funny"
Frage: (narrator voice) "Which did not stop him from having 5 more slices."
UIM: (commercial voice, mimics holding up a product) "It's the Xanax crust!" (wide fake smile)
Tuesday, April 02, 2024
Obscure Reference Gag I'll Never Meaningfully Get Out There
"It's a luggage store called 'Suitcase Pimp' on the corner of Yontz and Traynor."
Wednesday, March 27, 2024
Just a turkey boy, born and raised in south Detroit
Lyric Word Replacement - Replace 'City' with 'Turkey'
(Frage: "I got startled by something screaming outside, and when I checked, it was the feral turkeys."
UIM: "Pretty sure 'I hear the turkey screaming' is a Concrete Blonde lyric.")
Turkey Screaming - Concrete Blonde
Turkeys on Flame with Rock and Roll - Blue Oyster Cult
Suffragette Turkey - David Bowie
Detroit Rock Turkey - KISS
Paradise Turkey - Guns `n' Roses
We Built This Turkey - Jefferson Starship
Fool for the Turkey - Foghat
Hot Child in the Turkey - Nick Gilder
Jet Turkey Woman - Queensryche
Broken Turkey - Audioslave
Big Turkey Nights - Scorpions
Summer in the Turkey - Lovin' Spoonful
"Left a good job in the turkey..." - Creedence Clearwater Revival
"I hit the turkey bout 1 AM, loaded, loaded..." - Judas Priest
Sunday, March 10, 2024
Wednesday, March 06, 2024
Saturday, March 02, 2024
Sunday, February 25, 2024
Trials of Memes Based on My Own Quotes
I'm not sure which of these meme images best carry forward the idea, but if you have an opinion, let me know:
Saturday, February 24, 2024
#RepressedAnger
"You're living on your own private data farm.
Where do I go from here to a better feed than this?"
Saturday, February 17, 2024
Married conversations: Case by case, we understand each other better
(As I load the items in the iGo car with items to put in storage...)
Frage: "Is that a guitar case?" (with the previous knowledge that we had ditched our respective guitars at various move times....)
UIM: "It's a rifle case with a Nerf sword in it."
(Long pause while UIM puts the rest of the boxes in the iGo car.)
UIM: "I understand the loop playing in your head: 'Why do I even ask him?', 'Why do I even ask him?', 'Why do I even ask him?' ..."
Wednesday, February 14, 2024
I will always be too lazy to make this my epitaph...
He has gone where
short-sighted management
and over-confident developers
may lacerate his heart no more.
He served maintainable systems.
Traveler, imitate him if you dare.
KEVIN POLLAK 80s
Nostalgia: I audio-taped this very performance from Bill Boggs' Comedy Tonight when it aired in the early morning hours on channel 5 (WNEW). [We didn't have a VCR yet.]
Saturday, February 10, 2024
Thursday, February 08, 2024
Saturday, February 03, 2024
"You're All a Bunch of WEIRDOS!"
Yes, if I bought this, I would absolutely paint the body to look like Sam the (American) Eagle, with over-the-top red-white-and-blue on his wings.
I'm really bad at getting pictures up in a timely manner.
Although, technically, this shirt is accurate any day of the year.
T-shirt from https://teepublic.com/user/chekhovsraygun ( @NotLasers on Twitter )
Photo by Frage .
Friday, January 26, 2024
Saturday, January 13, 2024
Monday, January 08, 2024
Sunday, January 07, 2024
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