Items I am too lazy to properly make false citations for;

 "And the prophet Julius responded to the pharaoh's nurse, 'If I were able to proceed in such a manner, I should not require the talcum powder."

#RepressedAnger, a la RHCP

 "I chug a little pepto and I belch a little bile..."

#RepressedAnger, a la Bing Crosby

(tune: "Dear Old Donegal")

"They always seem to miss the point of evidence I give.

Their obstinance in ignorance erodes my will to live."

His final papal bull: "Semper clara latus vitae"

(As texted to too many of my friends and relatives earlier today...)

So, justto get all the obvious crass jokes out of the way, and to make sure I don't accidentally send them to Mom:

a) "BRING OUT YOUR POPE!"

b) "Mum, there's a dead pontiff on the landing!"

c) "If you hadn't nailed him to the balcony, he'd be pushing up the daisies!"

d) Conclave 2: Weekend at St. Peter's

e) Given the timing, do we have to wait three days to make sure?

f) Since Jorge was a nightclub bouncer in his youth, does this mean St. Peter finally gets a vacation?

g) Did he have the salmon mousse?

h) Vance/Truss Tour: Offing Decrepit Monarchs.

("And now he works for Jesus as the bouncer at St. Peter's gate....")

Dragons are a Girl's Best Friend 🎵 Ginny Di, Anjali Bhimani, Whitney Avalon

I Built 10 Incredible Cat Forts!

I Make an ILLEGAL Sculpture out of Money

Thunderstruck + It's a Long Way to the Top | AC/DC Bagpipe Cover - Godde...

Dorothy - SUPERHUMAN (Visualizer)

ZZ Ward - Liberation

Samantha Fish - I'm Done Runnin' (Official Audio)

Madness - Driving in My Car (Official 4K Video)

Madness - House of Fun (Official 4K Video)

Rocket-Propelled Skateboard using a Melon - The Slow Mo Guys

Madness - Mr. Apples (Official Video)

#RepressedAnger

 "It's been a clown-car day.  Every time I think the car's empty, another clown bursts out and slams a pie in my face."

Victorian Google : TechDif Animated | Citation Needed

Carol of the Hells Bells Bagpipes & AC/DC rock mashup - Goddesses of Bag...

This would have made shopping season far more bearable when I worked at the toysaurus back in the 90s.

#EnthusiasticNonsense: Cry 'waugh' and let slip the drakes of war!

A business breeding waterfowl large enough to rid into battle: Ducks Bellorum

#ThisDidn'tActuallyHappen: Married conversations.

Frage: "You have friends you have known for 40+ years, and who still talk to you."

UIM: "Specifically and exactly because they have not had to deal with my bull$#!+ on a day-to-day basis since the Reagan administration."