from the back files: sharing one's emotions at work.

From: UIM
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 3:06 PM
Subject: sharing one's emotions at work.
"If only we can modulate the waves of depression that UIM emanates, so that we can encode information.  Expect to be used as an inbound NIC when the devs are ready to test the TCP/BLAH protocol. "


(Current note: writing it today, I might name it the TCP/BPD protocol.)

#FictionalConversations

A: "So, how's the relationship going?"

B: "Well, his depression seems to be kicking into overdrive."

A: "How so?"

B: "When I write him a 'good morning' e-mail now, his response is 'Nos morituri te salutamus'."

A: "So, you're gonna spike his morning soda with Lexapro, I guess?"

#FictionalConversations and #RepressedSarcasm

A: "What dreadful threat will next menace our stalwart heroes?"
B: "Futons."

#FictionalConversations

A; "When she finishes my sentences, I call her 'Psi-Judge Anderson'. This annoys her enough to stop talking to me for a few hours."
B: "Promise me you won't ever write any relationship books."

#FictionalConversations

A: "So, what you been up to?"
B: "Dreaming of vigilante justice."
(Pause)
A: "Are you the terror that flaps in the night?"

#FictionalConversations AND #RepressedAnger

A: "And we'll make a lovely dress for Cinderelly."
B: "Shut up and hand me some cheese."

#FictionalConversations

A: "So, I was working my mojo on her -"
B: "You don't have a mojo.  You might have a mojito."
C: "I thought we sprayed for mojitos."
B: "No, but we did plant a Squeamish Vibe-Trap."

#FictionalConversations

A: "Well, you can't, you won't, and you don't stop."
B: "Try task manager."

from the back files, 2010 - discussions after a comic convention.

One of my work colleagues was asking me about C2E2, and then opining that as the father of a small daughter himself, taking pictures of the cosplayers was even more fraught with peril.
At which point I wrote the following fictional conversation....

Her: “A-HEM.”
Him: “Yeah, hon?”
Her: “Who are all these women on your digital camera?”
Him: “It’s not just women. There’s pictures of the Batmobile and the Delorean, too. And this is the 501rst Legion. And there’s Jack Sparrow.”
Her: “Captain Jack Sparrow.”
Him: “Right, hon.”
Her: “And why is SHE holding our daughter?”
Him: “Well, it’s a thematic thing, hon. Our daughter is wearing a Supergirl costume, and that woman is dressed up like Power Girl, who is actually Supergirl’s Earth-Two version…”
Her: “You mean someone designed that top deliberately for a superhero? And published it?”
Him: “A bunch of dirty old men in the 70’s. I believe.”
Her: “And this poster you bought?” (http://www.dccomics.com/dcdirect/?dcd=11401 )
Him: “Adam Hughes draws really well, and he signed it for her right here.”
Her: “And you think it’s going up in our daughter’s room?”
Him: “These are all positive role models – well, okay, except for Catwoman, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy…”
Her: “You’re sleeping on the couch this week.”

#FictionalConversations

A: "Quit your random scribbling, and show our databases some love."
B: "Sorry, but our databases are on my 'Enemies-with-Drawbacks' list."
C: "I guess that's better than a 'Friends-with-Cost/Benefit-Analyses' list."

#FictionalConversations

A: "He's in the men's room, painting his face and chest blue, and muttering about blood."
B: "Yeeeeah.  Time to break for lunch."

#FictionalConversations

A: "What twisted viciousness are you unleashing?"
B: "It involves eighty Nerf arrows, a gallon of glue, and three pissed-off squirrels."

#FictionalConversations

A: "What is up with your pheromones?"
B: "I adjusted the chemistry to smell like chocolate and new shoes."

#FictionalConversations

A: "Pelt them with almonds!"
B: "Stupidest. Cyanide delivery system.  Ever."

#FictionalConversations

A: "Seriously - E. B. White would blast you with a shotgun."
B: "Just don't let James Thurber aim a bow-and-arrow at me."

#FictionalConversations

A: "Hear my words, and tremble before my power!  I am coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs!"
B: "Man, I can't wait until 'coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs' makes it into the DSM."

#FictionalConversations

A: "Nobody ever says 'hung like an Eeyore', right?"
B: "Well, considering what happened to his tail..."

from the back files: at-at liquor cabinet

From: UIM
Sent: Thursday, June 06, 2013 11:27 AM
http://technabob.com/blog/2011/11/29/at-at-liquor-cabinet/

I overheard a colleague say "Star Wars Liquor Cabinet" a few minutes ago, so I would rather search the internet for that than beat my head against certain data walls right now.

Apparently, these pictures have been around for a while.

-UIM

At an AT-AT bar in a booth somewhere at Comic-Con:

Bartender in Jedi Robes: "Okay, boys, next round.  What'll you have?"

Boba Fett cosplayer: "I'll have a Dagobah Swamp Water."

Princess-Leia-on-Hoth cosplayer: "I'll have a Tibanna Gas-Processor."

Random guy in a red shirt: "Got any Romulan ale?"
Bartender in Jedi Robes: "Get out of here before I break your antique bifocals."

#FictionalConversations

Female A: “Why are you handing me a green dress and white-go-go boots?”
Male B: “We’re LARPing Power Puff Girls.  I’ve got three sales guys in chimp suits ready to be punched.”