From: UIM
Sent: Wednesday, December 03, 2008 6:30 AM
Subject: two time winner of the Buckeye News Hawk awards
Yesterday, before the 2:30 meeting, I made a reference to {cow-orker} about Les Nessman taping off the walls of the office he should have had. In turn, she recalled that last week one of the local radio stations replayed the "Turkeys Away" bit from WKRP. (http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0742671/ )
I felt the need to check YouTube for it this morning. I can't watch it without feeling nostalgia for my early days at this company. (There was a time or two, our Head DB Admin would look at Ops after some CEO-related agony, and say, "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.")
-UIM
I do not feel nostalgia for 1978, however. I was broke, powerless, and nothing made any sense, then, either.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
from the back files: You pull the trigger of my / Spud Gun
From: UIM
Sent: Wednesday, October 15, 2008 11:30 AM
Subject: How does Hasbro follow up the Star-Wars-themed Mr. Potato Heads? What else can they possibly license as a Mr. Potato Head?
Well, when I think toddler toys, I obviously think, 'KISS."
(Another blogger titled his post about these "Spuds in Satan's Service". Heh.)
http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=106664
-UIM
God of tubers / and rock and ro-o-oll.
--
From: LithoAster
Sent: Thursday, October 16, 2008 10:14 AM
God help us.
Guess I shouldn't be surprised. Gene Simmons is the biggest money whore in rock history.
--
From: UIM
Sent: Thursday, October 16, 2008 10:19 AM
Only because {someone famous and litigious} is not rock and roll.
And I have to admit, there is a part of me that wants to put a Gene-Simmons-potato-head on my desk. Fortunately, I have until March 2009 to talk myself out of it.
-UIM
Everybody says she's looking good / And the lady knows it's understood / Spudder.
--
From: LithoAster
Sent: Thursday, October 16, 2008 10:51 AM
Not sure what it says about me that I got both of your lyric references.
--
From: UIM
Sent: Thursday, October 16, 2008 10:55 AM
Well, even if you didn't know the songs, I would think the idea of twisting KISS lyrics to the current discussion theme would be easy to get.
However, I am only now realizing that this e-mail's tag line should have been the subject line from the start.
-UIM
Nowhere for hiding baby / Nowhere to run / You pull the trigger of my / Spud Gun.
Sent: Wednesday, October 15, 2008 11:30 AM
Subject: How does Hasbro follow up the Star-Wars-themed Mr. Potato Heads? What else can they possibly license as a Mr. Potato Head?
Well, when I think toddler toys, I obviously think, 'KISS."
(Another blogger titled his post about these "Spuds in Satan's Service". Heh.)
http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=106664
-UIM
God of tubers / and rock and ro-o-oll.
--
From: LithoAster
Sent: Thursday, October 16, 2008 10:14 AM
God help us.
Guess I shouldn't be surprised. Gene Simmons is the biggest money whore in rock history.
--
From: UIM
Sent: Thursday, October 16, 2008 10:19 AM
Only because {someone famous and litigious} is not rock and roll.
And I have to admit, there is a part of me that wants to put a Gene-Simmons-potato-head on my desk. Fortunately, I have until March 2009 to talk myself out of it.
-UIM
Everybody says she's looking good / And the lady knows it's understood / Spudder.
--
From: LithoAster
Sent: Thursday, October 16, 2008 10:51 AM
Not sure what it says about me that I got both of your lyric references.
--
From: UIM
Sent: Thursday, October 16, 2008 10:55 AM
Well, even if you didn't know the songs, I would think the idea of twisting KISS lyrics to the current discussion theme would be easy to get.
However, I am only now realizing that this e-mail's tag line should have been the subject line from the start.
-UIM
Nowhere for hiding baby / Nowhere to run / You pull the trigger of my / Spud Gun.
Friday, October 03, 2008
sarcastic beer
From: DBAChief
Sent: Friday, October 03, 2008 8:02 AM
maybe, MAYBE, drinks today after work. how's your schedule?
--
From: UIM
Sent: Friday, October 03, 2008 8:07 AM
Well, Bernanke and Greenspan have some equations they want me to look over by 1; Britney is penciled in for a lyrics-writing session at lunch; and Lohan wants me to finish the goddamn Herbie 2 rewrite by 7 tonight or she won't ever again wear the Catholic schoolgirl uniform for me. But I should have time for a Blue Moon or two before I take the conference call from Willis and Statham about the Die Hard 5 pitch to Fox on Monday.
Yes, I'm being sarcastic. I should be out before 4, I have no other plans.
Sent: Friday, October 03, 2008 8:02 AM
maybe, MAYBE, drinks today after work. how's your schedule?
--
From: UIM
Sent: Friday, October 03, 2008 8:07 AM
Well, Bernanke and Greenspan have some equations they want me to look over by 1; Britney is penciled in for a lyrics-writing session at lunch; and Lohan wants me to finish the goddamn Herbie 2 rewrite by 7 tonight or she won't ever again wear the Catholic schoolgirl uniform for me. But I should have time for a Blue Moon or two before I take the conference call from Willis and Statham about the Die Hard 5 pitch to Fox on Monday.
Yes, I'm being sarcastic. I should be out before 4, I have no other plans.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
DETONATION (The last Group W Bench Post)
After a sporadically-filled 7 years and change, I’m admitting my failure at this.
Pretty impressive, to fail at something you had no clear purpose in starting. But that’s how spectacular I am.
In short, the minimal effort that I have been making still feels like too much work.
There’s just been too much change. I don’t get the energy from posting which I got when I started this.
So, it’s time to knock everything down, sow the fields with salt, and move on.
Since most of the audience for this has been people whom I personally know, I’ll try to emit regular e-mails from my hotmail account. On the slim chance that you’ve been a long-time reader of this witlessness, and you never wrote to me before, and you actually want to read some of the future witlessness, please send me a note from your private e-mail address to uim70@hotmail.com . I feel certain that I can handle the Lilliputian flood of e-mails that will result.
I’ll keep the “band names” and “links” and “adult film actress names” sites up a while longer.
I won’t even permanently rule out trying a web log again, sometime in the future. Maybe it could happen around late September 2010. Who knows?
Until you hear from me, may peace and love and happiness fill your life to overflowing.
“… and sweet’s the air with curly smoke / From all my burning bridges.”
-Dorothy Parker
Pretty impressive, to fail at something you had no clear purpose in starting. But that’s how spectacular I am.
In short, the minimal effort that I have been making still feels like too much work.
There’s just been too much change. I don’t get the energy from posting which I got when I started this.
So, it’s time to knock everything down, sow the fields with salt, and move on.
Since most of the audience for this has been people whom I personally know, I’ll try to emit regular e-mails from my hotmail account. On the slim chance that you’ve been a long-time reader of this witlessness, and you never wrote to me before, and you actually want to read some of the future witlessness, please send me a note from your private e-mail address to uim70@hotmail.com . I feel certain that I can handle the Lilliputian flood of e-mails that will result.
I’ll keep the “band names” and “links” and “adult film actress names” sites up a while longer.
I won’t even permanently rule out trying a web log again, sometime in the future. Maybe it could happen around late September 2010. Who knows?
Until you hear from me, may peace and love and happiness fill your life to overflowing.
“… and sweet’s the air with curly smoke / From all my burning bridges.”
-Dorothy Parker
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
I just want a Valhalla for angry tech guys...
From: UIM
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 7:38 AM
I could have sworn that months ago I disproved the assertion that the values could be changed in the database via the method you propose. (If someone is still asserting that, I would like to have a quick meeting with that someone down on the loading dock, where I will introduce them to my friend, Mr. Rebar.)
--
From: NotIronMan
Sent: Tue 5/6/2008 7:50 AM
I concur with UIM. It is physically impossible to change it via that path.
--
From: BigCheerfulGuy
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 9:08 AM
Understood, we were always a little hazy on whether this ACTUALLY worked or if we only heard legendary tales about the brave warrior who once made it happen somehow. This is coming up more now with Europe and Asia Support.
---
From: UIM
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 9:11 AM
"Brave warrior who once made it happen somehow." That would look good on a resume. "I am the Cuchulain of intractable data wars."
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 7:38 AM
I could have sworn that months ago I disproved the assertion that the values could be changed in the database via the method you propose. (If someone is still asserting that, I would like to have a quick meeting with that someone down on the loading dock, where I will introduce them to my friend, Mr. Rebar.)
--
From: NotIronMan
Sent: Tue 5/6/2008 7:50 AM
I concur with UIM. It is physically impossible to change it via that path.
--
From: BigCheerfulGuy
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 9:08 AM
Understood, we were always a little hazy on whether this ACTUALLY worked or if we only heard legendary tales about the brave warrior who once made it happen somehow. This is coming up more now with Europe and Asia Support.
---
From: UIM
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 9:11 AM
"Brave warrior who once made it happen somehow." That would look good on a resume. "I am the Cuchulain of intractable data wars."
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