I Make a 12ft DISCO BALL SKELETON

Somewhere between, the truth probably lies.

 Half the time I see 'webinar' in an e-mail, I read it as 'weiner'; the other half, I read it as 'Weimar'.

"I hope you know this will go down on your Permanent Record..."

I've seen a bunch of different paintings of JC, but this one in a PA antiques store last May was the first I've seen with the 'disappointed guidance counselor' expression.

My buddy WryGuy responded with:

"I feel like I am about to hear a speech about what is appropriate in the classroom and what is not. 'We do not slurp the blood of Christ. We do not ask for dipping sauce with the body of Christ.' "

My brother Stringer's contribution:

"Now, Judas, the feedback I've been getting from your peers is that you can be a bit unreliable at times."

"Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, what are you doing, doing doing?"

Some walk by night....

I'm not entirely sure it's gonna hold up.  

There's stuff I loved as a nerdy Bruce-worshipping teen in the 80s that I cringe about now.   

There's barely 65 episodes , and the quality did vary widely.  

I didn't even see the last season, because I was a freshman at college, and given where season 4 wound up, I never really tried to seek out that last season.

I mean, I still have the vhs tapes from original airings, and from the Lifetime reruns in the early 2000s.

But I think a lot of people are gonna see the pilot (either first time ever or first time in a couple decades) and go, 'Man, David Addison's skeevy jokes seem a lot worse now....."

Solving Puzzles Using Ancient Languages in CHANTS OF SENNAAR

Today's idiocy: Trying to Reason with Monotreme Season (One Song to the Tune of Another)

Today's burst of idiocy:

Singing the words of the Perry the Platypus theme to a couple Jimmy Buffett riffs.

The verse lyric kind of fits the "Fins" verse melody.

"He's Perry the Platypus" fits the first measure of "Cheeseburger in Paradise"'s chorus.

Drawfee's New Office - Drawfee Animated

Bad Spell (Acoustic) [Official Music Video]

AC/DC - Thunderstruck, but with Tesla Coils

Belated realizations

Years ago, while considering why I fell off writing, and shortly after I started reading fan-fic and learning some of the terms of fan-fic discussions, I realized:

Every single story I ever wrote was fix-it fic for my life, usually barely-disguised.

Toddler with a Slingshot (Official Animated Music Video)

Cyndi Lauper She Bop Live At Budokan

Be Glad I Love You (Official Animated Music Video)

Pat Benatar - "We Belong" (Larkin Poe Cover Video)

Miscellaneous Myths: Artemis and Apollo

Irish People Try Tofu Burgers

The McDonald's MacBeth Sandwich - Animated

Why are adverts so loud?

Shake hands with danger - Jim Stringer (1980) - Original

Irish People Try American SPAM

History Summarized: The Splendor of Kyiv

Nathan Plays Digimon Smash or Pass - Drawfee Animated

Your confessions are safe in this special box

Journey To The Marvels | In Theaters Nov 10

Chris Cornell's other band?! Vocal ANALYSIS of Audioslave's "Show Me How...

The Beaches - What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Paranoid (Official Music V...

Jim Croce - Things 'Bout Goin' My Way | Home Recordings: Americana

Jim Croce - In The Jailhouse Now | Home Recordings: Americana

Jim Croce - Living With The Blues | Home Recordings: Americana

Jim Croce - I Got Mine | Home Recordings: Americana

Jim Croce - The Wall | Home Recordings: Americana

Jim Croce - Cigarettes, Whiskey and Wild Wild Women | Home Recordings: A...

Wellerman

Santiana

Randy Dandy-O

Old Maui

Drawing Things Our Fans Explicitly Told Us Not To

Letting Stream Chat Speak Through Gobbo

Fairy Tail (Official Music Video) | Mia x Ally

New discovery in One Song to the Tune of Another research:

Thanks to the David Byrne vocal goofing in Drawing Characters From Memory With Barrett - YouTube , I have now realized that

"Rainbow Connection" written by Paul Williams, sung by Jim Henson
can swap lyrics and tune with
"Life During Wartime"written and performed by Talking Heads

Perspective

 An observation I made after a doctor's office visit:
There's nothing like an uncooperative sample jar lid to make you appreciate the rest of your day.

"And you, to whom adversity has dealt the final blow With smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go.." (The Mary Ellen Carter)

The Last Saskatchewan Pirate

The Longest Johns ~ The Last Bristolian Pirate at The Barrel Thornbury

I Made a Dragon Puppet! (in a week)

If you wanna battle, you're in denial. (Marvel Studios' The Marvels | Official Trailer)

Teaming Up Changes Everythingone

#Repressed Anger

 "History shows again and again / How data points out the folly of devs..."  - Me, angry at work, mangling Blue Oyster Cult lyrics.

I Built LONDON Out Of LEGO!

#Repressed Anger #ThisDidn'tActuallyHappen

Today's bad idea: answering all work questions with Duran Duran lyrics.
This was triggered by the lyric "I'm on a ride and I want to get off / But they won't slow down the roundabout."

If I knew more people in the office, they might ask why I was there, and I'd claim "Watching over Lucky clover.  Isn't that bizarre?"

But, my team shifted office space during the plague, so no one there would know me well enough to shrug it off with "Who really gives a damn about a flaky bandit?"

Designing Mascots for Towns with the Funniest Names

The Bobby Hill Incident - Drawfee Animated

Brennan Lee Mulligan Can't Name That Bird - Game Changer Animated

Oh Hitman! - Drawfee Animated

Maternal Wisdom

"A lot of times, couples need their own paperwork." - Mom, explaining why there's two copies of this visit's itinerary in the bag of snacks she handed us as soon as we got out of the car.

I Got A Professional Color Analysis

Shipping Up to Boston (Official Music Video) - MIA x ALLY

My Next AC/DC Analysis with Bon Scott! Vocal ANALYSIS of "It's A Long Wa...

A song made out of dad jokes

Sara Bareilles - Love On The Rocks / Bennie and the Jets (Live at the Va...

And today I learned: SPQR IMDB

 And today I learned Julius Caesar has an IMDB page:

Gaio Giulio Cesare - IMDb

Never be afraid to look at the people giving you guidance, and wonder, "Are they high on their own supply?"

15,000 Legos! I Make the Most Uncomfortable Toilet

“Heart-Shaped Box” (Nirvana) 1960s Tainted Love Cover by Robyn Adele And...

Super Mario Bros. Movie DID THE ONE THING I WANTED! (Super Mario Bros. S...

I really like seeing Andre happy....

LEGO Orrery - Earth, Moon and Sun

Anti-Hero…if Taylor Swift was in a SKA BAND (ft. @SkaTuneNetwork)

The Furby Episode - Drawfee Animated

Murderhobo Song (What Friends Are For) - From 1 FOR ALL

I Made This EPIC Satellite Photo Frame

How Crowded is Kyoto Now? ⛩

I forgot the phrase 'regular expression' while at work, and to figure it out...

xkcd: Perl Problems

 

Danny Boy

Beastie Boys | So What’cha Want | Muppets Version

Turning Weird Plant Names Into Characters

Singing about annoyances.

While dealing with a glitter-shedding Christmas card today, I started singing, 'Craaaaft herpes, wiider than a mile...."

So, it's still a good thing I've been too lazy to learn video editing.

Or YouTube would have Audrey Hepburn singing something very different on her balcony....

If I Wasn't So Lazy, I'd Be Dangerous

If I weren't so lazy....

- I'd have learned video editing software to replace the Millennium Falcon with the P-Funk Mothership.

Steve Goodman - That was a pleasant accident

Steve Goodman: A Dying Cubs Fan's Last Request

Oingo Boingo - Dead Man's Party - 4/25/1987 - Ritz

John, Arlo, Kris And Others Discuss Steve Goodman

Jamiroquai Bee Gees Mashup - Pomplamoose

Whiskey Fever

The Donnas - Too Bad About Your Girl (Official Video)

Katy Perry + Gorillaz + Manu Chao Mashup | Pomplamoose ft. Jon Cozart

"Weird Al" Yankovic - "Polka Your Eyes Out" (1992) - MDA Telethon

"Weird Al" Yankovic - Germs

It's My World (And We're All Living in It) (From "Milo Murphy's Law" (Au...

"The time a frog peed on Jim Henson" with Kermit and Bob McGrath

Matt has one hour to hover a helicopter

Gary Moore - Emerald (Tribute to Phil Lynott) [HQ] [4/10]

Married Conversations: One Concern to the Tune of Another

(Frage sits in the recliner in the living room, watching HGTV.)
(UIM, just-showered and half-dressed, strides out with determination, picks up the letter-size notepad, grabs a pen, starts scribbling and mumbling.)

(After a minute of this...)

Frage: "Should I be worried that you're mumbling 'cut you down and destroy'?"

UIM: "It's 'one song to the tune of another'.  I realized you can sing the verses of Johnny Cash's 'God's Gonna Cut You Down' and Metallica's 'Seek and Destroy' to each other's tunes."

Frage: "Ah."

UIM: "But I understand you worry when your pants-less husband mumbles like that.  You concerns are valid."

Married Conversations: Saturday Wait (for a breakfast sandwich)

Frage: "I got you a different breakfast sandwich.  It's called The Cure."

UIM: "Is it supposed to be a hangover remedy."

Frage: "No, it's cured meats."

UIM: "I guess I'm just glad it doesn't look like Robert Smith."

Frage: "Every time I see it, I chuckle and think, 'Friday I'm in Love'."

UIM: "But today is Saturday."

Frage: "Yes."

UIM: "Are you all out of love?"

Frage: "No."

UIM: "Because that would be an Air Supply."

Married Conversations: Something Might Be Found

(After Frage comes in, and is throwing out her coffee cup.)

Frage:"So, yeah, I got myself coffee as a little treat."

UIM: "The pool was closed, so you walked the whole time?"

Frage: "No.  I swam, then walked."

UIM: " I really should just standardize it as 'How as your walk/swim?'"

Frage: "Or you could look for clues, like, my hair is wet."

UIM: "Now, listen, I am barely awake until noon, on my best days.  So, don't expect too much from me and -" (realizes) "you might not be let down and goddamnit I am quoting a Gin Blossoms song."

Poo Hearts Beating In Just One Mind.

(Context is lost, but....)

Frage: "It's all about the poo with you."

... devolving into Lyric Word Replacement - 'poo' for 'two' ...

Frage: "Just the Poo of Us."

UIM: "It Takes Poo to Make a Thing Go Right."

...

UIM: "And, of course, the Spice Girls singing, 'Poo Become One'."

Wrapped in white tissue as cold as the - ewwwww

During the 15-minute-or-so break that Frage and I took today to get sympathy about our respective jobs...

Frage: "I'm not a manager or a supervisor, but somehow the circus is mine."

UIM: "Other folks just keep assigning you monkeys."

Frage: "And I did not want responsibility for these poo-slingers."

Frank: "Now, I'm just imagining two monkeys in cowboy outfits facing off at high noon in a town, with holsters full of poo."

Reactions by other folks after I shared the above bit:

'Backer (my cousin): "I'm going to commission someone to draw that, and put it up on the wall above my home desk."

Shell (my brother):  "This town ain't big enough for the poo of us."

UIM: "I am now scared `Backer will make it an NFT with that title, and somehow I'll be responsible legally for whoever he sells it to."

Stringer (my other brother): "Non-flingable turds."

Songs That Are Fun To Sing in Fred Schneider's Voice

 most Doors songs, but especially Roadhouse Blues  (as noted here: https://thegroupwbench.blogspot.com/2021/10/same-situation-different-emphasis.html )
Mother, Danzig

Forgot About Dre, Dr. Dre and Eminem

Nerf and Theft

(During a Zoom meeting.)
Meeting co-ordinator "Hey, UIM, is that a Nerf gun behind you?"
(UIM unmutes, nods, grabs the Nerf gun, and holds it closer to the screen.)
UIM: "Yeah.  Doesn't work.  Five bucks in a thrift shop."
Developer: "I saw the orange bit and thought it was a traffic cone."
UIM: "No, in my family, we steal those.  We don't pay five bucks for them in a thrift shop."
------
Some of the responses when I texted this to family members:
My brother, Shell: "Stop revealing family secrets."
My other brother, Stringer: "I have two of them in my shed."  (He did not clarify whether he meant cones or Nerf guns.)
My cousin, `Backer: "Of course we don't- we already paid for them with gas taxes."

2022

I was about to express hopes for peace and joy and change in the new year.
And then a second later, random dingleberries started setting off firecrackers at midnight.

Knowledge I Learned from My Friends This Year

If there's something on the floor, don't stand in it. (January 2021 - It was a world of Warcraft statement, but it's really applicable everywhere.)

You'd think if you hadn't eaten all day, anything would taste good.  (January 2021)

People made of fluff should be last in the battle order.  (January 2021)

The octopus is judging you.  (February 2021)

We aggro'd the fucking world.  Why not drive off the cliff?  (February 2021)

Knob Creek immediately goes up your nose and burns your brain.  (March 2021)

Some nights, you'll need some help with a quest you shouldn't have gotten into.  (March 2021)

A really-nasty one-star review actually means you've touched the reader.  (April 2021)

Under normal circumstances, Urgent Care never tells you to come back the next day for a follow-up. (June 2021)

A case of shingles can feel like a midget trying to drive a spike through your ear for three weeks.  (August 2021)

Chickens are nasty.  That's why they are so tasty.  (October 2021)

Your child will be aghast that you know the lyrics to 'The Time Warp'.  (October 2021)

Do not hide bodies in the attic - that's the first place they look.  (December 2021)

I don't think 'Weird Al' did this in concert, but I'm also too lazy to verify that....

During my lunch break on Tuesday, I took the parts I wanted from several meal-plan meals, stuck them in a bowl to microwave them.  They key piece of this was the provolone slices I took from two of the meals, and laid on top of the other components.

All while singing the word 'Provolone' instead of 'Kodakchrome' in the Paul Simon song.

Obviously (because it's me), this grew out of control....

When I think back on all the lunch I had in high school,
It's a wonder I can eat at all.
Oh, but my lack of good nutrition never hurt me none.
I still can read a menu on the wall.

Provolone

(something some thing something)

Gives me a happy stomach.

Makes all the world a cheesy day, oh, yeah.

With my Italian sandwich

(something some thing something)

Mama, please don't take my provolone away.

If you took all the meals I had when I was drinking,

And put them in a buffet for one night,

It would never match my flavor recollection -

Everything tastes worse in sober light.

Provolone

(something some thing something)

Gives me a happy stomach.

Makes all the world a cheesy day, oh, yeah.

With my Italian sandwich

(something some thing something)

Mama, please don't take my provolone away.