Songs That Are Fun To Sing in Fred Schneider's Voice

 most Doors songs, but especially Roadhouse Blues  (as noted here: https://thegroupwbench.blogspot.com/2021/10/same-situation-different-emphasis.html )
Mother, Danzig

Forgot About Dre, Dr. Dre and Eminem

Nerf and Theft

(During a Zoom meeting.)
Meeting co-ordinator "Hey, UIM, is that a Nerf gun behind you?"
(UIM unmutes, nods, grabs the Nerf gun, and holds it closer to the screen.)
UIM: "Yeah.  Doesn't work.  Five bucks in a thrift shop."
Developer: "I saw the orange bit and thought it was a traffic cone."
UIM: "No, in my family, we steal those.  We don't pay five bucks for them in a thrift shop."
------
Some of the responses when I texted this to family members:
My brother, Shell: "Stop revealing family secrets."
My other brother, Stringer: "I have two of them in my shed."  (He did not clarify whether he meant cones or Nerf guns.)
My cousin, `Backer: "Of course we don't- we already paid for them with gas taxes."

2022

I was about to express hopes for peace and joy and change in the new year.
And then a second later, random dingleberries started setting off firecrackers at midnight.

Knowledge I Learned from My Friends This Year

If there's something on the floor, don't stand in it. (January 2021 - It was a world of Warcraft statement, but it's really applicable everywhere.)

You'd think if you hadn't eaten all day, anything would taste good.  (January 2021)

People made of fluff should be last in the battle order.  (January 2021)

The octopus is judging you.  (February 2021)

We aggro'd the fucking world.  Why not drive off the cliff?  (February 2021)

Knob Creek immediately goes up your nose and burns your brain.  (March 2021)

Some nights, you'll need some help with a quest you shouldn't have gotten into.  (March 2021)

A really-nasty one-star review actually means you've touched the reader.  (April 2021)

Under normal circumstances, Urgent Care never tells you to come back the next day for a follow-up. (June 2021)

A case of shingles can feel like a midget trying to drive a spike through your ear for three weeks.  (August 2021)

Chickens are nasty.  That's why they are so tasty.  (October 2021)

Your child will be aghast that you know the lyrics to 'The Time Warp'.  (October 2021)

Do not hide bodies in the attic - that's the first place they look.  (December 2021)

I don't think 'Weird Al' did this in concert, but I'm also too lazy to verify that....

During my lunch break on Tuesday, I took the parts I wanted from several meal-plan meals, stuck them in a bowl to microwave them.  They key piece of this was the provolone slices I took from two of the meals, and laid on top of the other components.

All while singing the word 'Provolone' instead of 'Kodakchrome' in the Paul Simon song.

Obviously (because it's me), this grew out of control....

When I think back on all the lunch I had in high school,
It's a wonder I can eat at all.
Oh, but my lack of good nutrition never hurt me none.
I still can read a menu on the wall.

Provolone

(something some thing something)

Gives me a happy stomach.

Makes all the world a cheesy day, oh, yeah.

With my Italian sandwich

(something some thing something)

Mama, please don't take my provolone away.

If you took all the meals I had when I was drinking,

And put them in a buffet for one night,

It would never match my flavor recollection -

Everything tastes worse in sober light.

Provolone

(something some thing something)

Gives me a happy stomach.

Makes all the world a cheesy day, oh, yeah.

With my Italian sandwich

(something some thing something)

Mama, please don't take my provolone away.

#RepressedAnger

"Look, on my best day, I am a chaos gremlin, but most days I am a vicious vengeful bridge troll.  So, maybe you want to start listening to what I'm saying, instead of making me repeat everything three times by asking questions that I specifically answered in the previous sentence."

Songs That Are Fun to Sing in My Dad's Voice (Sarcastic Heavy Brooklyn Accent)

No Sleep Til Brooklyn, Beastie Boys

Paul Revere, Beastie Boys

Keep Their Heads Ringing, Dr. Dre

Forgot About Dre, Dr. Dre and Eminem

Waterloo, ABBA

Fernando, ABBA

Lady Marmalade (Moulin Rouge version) - Mya, Pink, Christina Aguilera, Lil Kim, Missy Elliott

Berzerk, Eminem

Thrift Shop, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis

Love Runs Out, One Republic

I'm Too Sexy, Right Said Fred

[Quiet and Distant and Remorseful on Tumblr: Songs That Are Fun to Sing in My Dad's Voice (Sarcastic Heavy Brooklyn Accent)]

Songs That Are Fun to Sing in a Chipmunk Voice

Chip Away the Stone, Aerosmith

Immigrant Song, Led Zeppelin

Vacation, Go-Gos

Dancing in the Moonlight, King Harvest

Fire, Jimi Hendrix

Quiet and Distant and Remorseful on Tumblr: Songs That Are Fun to Sing in a Chipmunk Voice

Songs That Are Fun To Sing in A Kermit Voice

(in rough order of how they occurred to me over the last thirty-odd years)

Red House, Jimi Hendrix 

You Shook Me All Night Long, AC/DC

Closer, Nine Inch Nails

I Wanna Be Sedated, Ramones

(This will be updated as I recall more of them)

Life During Wartime, Talking Heads (noting the verses can be sung to Rainbow Connection) 

[ (Quiet and Distant and Remorseful on Tumblr: Songs That Are Fun To Sing in A Kermit Voice ]

Not-so-repressed anger

 (UIM direct-messaging a cow-orker.)

"How bad a sign is it that I'm singing 'This Ain't a Vendor, It's a God-damn Trash Fire' to a Fall Out Boy song?"

With nothing to consider, they forget my name?

(Frage making her coffee in the kitchen.)
(UIM in the living room, working on data correction and singing along with 'That's Not My Name'.)
UIM: "They call me quiet / but I'm a riot / Mary Jo, Lisa / It's all the same...")
(UIM looks up as Frage walks with her coffee back to her spare-room work area.)
Frage: "I have never called you quiet..."

Baby, if you ever wondered, it's time to play the music....

 Quiet and Distant and Remorseful — Yesterday’s dumb idea:  A WKRP-Muppet Show... (tumblr.com)

Yesterday’s dumb idea:  A WKRP-Muppet Show crossover episode.

They both were airing during the years 1978 - 1981.

Admittedly, the Muppet production was based in England, but a partial detachment of the Muppet team to LA for a WKRP episode wouldn’t have been impossible.

The only A-plot I can imagine is an Electric Mayhem show in Cincinnati, and WKRP covering it like any other rock concert.

And WKRP’s Andy Travis was basically the Kermit of the show - trying to keep the chaos moving in a positive direction.

Sam the Eagle and Les Nessman certainly could have bonded.

Mostly, I thought of this just for the running gag of Dr. Johnny Fever assuming that seeing Gonzo, Fozzy, and Animal was just more drug flashbacks.

“I swear, man, there was this little red furry guy standing behind Jennifer, groaning,’wo-man’...”

Married Conversations: joke handling

UIM: "Sorry I stepped on your joke."

Frage: "You stepped on my joke, smeared it in poo, then gave it back to me."

Married Conversations: definitions and resistance

Frage: "Are those boots waterproof?"

UIM: "They're water resistant.  I wouldn't want to jump in a river wearing them."

Frage: "Well, there goes our plans for the afternoon."

It's been a long plague.

 

Mistakes in passing

I saw this sponsored ad in passing, and my brain immediately parsed the shape and layout as “Paramount is putting out retro console cartridge games for Star Trek: Lower Decks”?

 

Heirloom Siege Engines

 Quiet and Distant and Remorseful — thestuffedalligator: thestuffedalligator: ... (tumblr.com)

In my young adulthood, my mom heavily collected spinning wheels.  

I am now mentally constructing an AU for my own life where her membership on the high school rifle team took a sharp turn into collecting scaled-down siege engines, and in her 50′s she forms a LARPing group named The 516th Battle Nurses Regiment. 

Motto: “We can heal your wounds.  We can cause your wounds.  Your choice.”

The Six Words Frage Has Come to Dread

When I moved in with my then-girlfriend-now-spouse, one of the communication compromises we needed was a balance between my "I just thought of/read/saw this thing I must share right now" with her "Sudden noise/movement/conversation startles the hell out me".

Apparently, a 6-foot 215-lb man bounding into the room at top speed cackling about ... oh, let's say a posting on Fark.. is really really stressful to a 5'2" woman who has been living quietly with her cats for most of the previous decade.

Eventually, I understood that 'so startled she can't appreciate whatever I'm trying to say' was not a rejection of love.  (Had I learned that earlier in life, I'd have been a lot more pleasant to be around.)

And so, we developed the Six Words That Frage Dreads:

"I feel the need to share."  

Usually, the scene will be thus:

(Frage and UIM laying in bed.)

(Frage is playing game on her phone, half-listening to either an audiobook or whatever is on Hallmark Mystery Channel.)

(UIM is obsessively scrolling through YouTube or through the same six text web sites he always reads on his Kindle .)

(UIM laughs at something.)

(Pause.)

(UIM takes out his earbuds.)

(UIM takes a breath.)

(Frage holds her breath, hoping against hope.)

UIM: "When you reach a stopping point."

Frage: (weary) "yes?"

UIM: "I feel the need to share."

I got your oak wisdom right here, buddy.

My brother Shell called me for my birthday.

During the call, I threw out a new Dad-riff idea:  "Dad as a Druid."

He ran with it immediately.

"Oh, sure, the holly berry is sacred - because it's growing on my trees, you damn moochers."

"Goddamn squirrel chewing the thatch of my hut. I cast spells, it does nothing.  Damn squirrel won't listen."

"I shoulda listened to my father and joined the warrior class."

I contributed:

"The goddamn sacred pool is full of goddamn flies, because the goddamn birds aren't doing their job."

Later in the day, when my brother Stringer called, and I updated him on these gags, he responded, "Well, now I have my next character for D&D."

Same situation, different emphasis.

One of the old Dumb Ideas from one of the previous iterations:
Doors covering 'Love Shack'.
B52s covering 'Roadhouse Blues'.
I know it's not as simple as 'switch major key to minor key' and 'switch minor key to major key'.